This is what I just received from Randy's lawyer (by way of my lawyer):

"...On another note, it has come to my attention that you client may have perjured herself in her declarations in support of the motion for temporary order in several ways.  There was never a suicide attempt or threat on the part of my client, and Ms. Inman is well aware of that and the circumstance under which that allegation was made.  She was also aware that Mr. Fisher has been in grief counseling for some time and that this is not a new development.  She is also aware that, after Gavin was nursing less, Mr. Fisher was as involved in Gavin's parenting as she was, caring for Gavin while Ms. Fisher was out at bars with her friends.  The list goes on.

These isssues are not things that need to be dragged into a parenting plan decision and since that is the only real issue in this divorce proceeding, it makes it particularly important that our clients are candid and act in good faith throughout the process...."

In the words of my favorite Asian, "Vomitrocious."  He is on drugs.  He is absolutely *censored* high.  I feel bad for his dip-*censored* attorney because boy is she in for a surprise.  There was MORE than one threat, and I highly doubt Kim, who was there immediately after the first one, or his MOM or Dallas, who were very involved with the most serious one would "PERJURE" themselves on the stand if need be.  I'm pretty sure, yes Debbi- I'm talking to you- lying is on the list of "no-nos" for you obnoxious wanna-be Christians.  Furthermore, "been in grief counseling for some time" is also a crock of *censored*.  He didn't start going until AFTER his most serious suicide threat, and best believe there is a paperwork trail there.  I also believe we DISCUSSED his earlier suicide threats with both the first and second counselors.  Lastly, although it is true that he became "more" involved after he came back from Ohio, that *censored*-*censored* still didn't do HALF of what I was doing.  And the "many" times I went out to bars with friends is approximately THREE.  And considering that I didn't have even an iota of a social life prior to his "life changing epiphany" when he became even SOMEWHAT competent to care for Gavin, I think three times is pretty freakin' acceptable.  And to add to that, two of the three times I can think of, I put Gavin to bed before I went out.  Factor in the times he went out or did something social without me: ie staying in Pullman with Dallas and leaving me sick at home with Gavin, I think we were pretty even.  And "the list goes on" is SHE smoking crack, too?  I have NO warrants out for my arrest, I have never had a drug habit, I didn't spend almost forty-eight *censored* thousand dollars by myself in three months.  Whatever list they have came from my live journal posts- I truly hope the lying filth from the bottom of the sewer is reading this post- and my PRIVATE journal.  Oh, and after reading all of my emails and myspace messages, etc. that he had somebody hack.

I realize this all doesn't matter.  He can't prove he didn't threaten, and although I can't technically prove he did I doubt his Mom or family will lie for him in court.  I can prove he didn't go to counseling earlier, but really, is it going to make a difference...?  Maybe to his attorney who will finally realize what a lying sack of *censored* he is.  And mentioning that these things don't need to be brought up to determine a proper parenting plan is ridiculous- YES, they do.  If only to prove that he is untrustworthy and emotionally unstable.

So there.  That's my rant for the evening because I refuse to call anyone and spout off how angry I am.  I don't want to even be angry about it.  I know it is silly to even let myself waste any emotions on him anymore.  I should just expect the worst, and then when I receive it, I won't be suprised.  And to be honest, I am really not as angry with him as I am with myself.  I knew SO long ago that this was a bad idea.  I wanted out before I even found out I was pregnant.  I just felt SO alone and with his dad dying, etc. I just couldn't make things any worse for him.  That teaches me to be nice.  I just thought I could make myself happy.  I haven't been able to let my guard down and do something nice for him without it screwing me over in the end.  I wish I would have just done what I  wanted and not listened to anyone else or cared about what people would think.  I wouldn't have thousands of dollars of debt and a scary soon-to-be-ex-husband who makes me afraid to go walking by myself if I don't answer his phone calls.  I don't go to sleep without checking to be sure all of my doors are locked.  I still scan the parking lot of my apartment complex when I come home to make sure he isn't waiting for me, mad because he's decided if he can't have me, no one can.

I'm off to try to get some sleep.  I know, as do MANY people, that I didn't "perjure" myself in any of my statements.  If anything, I was TOO nice.  The few things that looked a little off to me, such as them saying "less than three weeks" and me saying "I think it was a little over three weeks" I made an effort to point out.  I really do feel bad for his lawyer.  It's not her fault she's listening to him- she has no reason to think he would lie to her.  I just wish I could spend 15 minutes with her.  I bet after hearing even a fraction of THE TRUTH she'd realize what a scumbag he is.

I got rear-ended yesterday and my neck/back hurt.

I have a cold and feel like moldy pooh.

My house is messy and gross and dirty.

My son is sick and is, at this very moment, crying quite forcefully in his crib.  He was up more than seven times on Monday night, but only twice last night (*thankfully*).  Nothing will make him happy- not rocking, singing, walking, drinking water, mommy milk, puppy and binkum, diaper change, pretty music and lights thing in his crib...I know he feels like poop, so I am tempted to give him some Tylenol but it makes me feel like I am cheating, or foisting drugs off on my child so I can get some sleep!

My dog's chewed up my retainers.  It will cost at least $80 to get new ones.

Minnie also partially shredded our back door by trying to get in this morning after I realized she chewed my retainers and locked her outside.

My baby is STILL crying.

 Did I mention I am exhausted? 

Still crying.....

So we had the most fabulous party last night!

Mom-and-Pop-ooshka came as well as Ducky and thepigpen- which made me super happy!  RGs mom and her new boyfriend were visiting and the newly engaged Kelsey and Ryan came as well.  We had delicious food- waaaay too much! and after the ooshkas and farm animals left (and that is NOT slam, it was just a good way to group them together with their two nicknames!) we played Cranium.  I don't really like playing games that much, and this one was really hard because we played with the booster pack.  Ryan and Kelsey won- Kelsey is an absolutely amazing artist with her eyes closed!  Then Debbie and Bob went to bed (10:45pm!) and we played "Wordster" where the card had three letters on it and you have to come up with ten words that have those three letters in them consecutively (not next to each other, but in that order).  For example: PIL could be "PILl" "PILlow" "PhILisophical" (Kelsey had that one!) etc.

That was about all- Dallas was supposed to stop by, but we still haven't heard from him...

I am busy trying to upload and pick out which wedding photos to get printed up and RG is playing football on the PS3- baby gabin is sleeping!  

I am very excited for the san monster and seamus dragon to come visit.  (I thought san got a cool beast after her name, it's only fair that seamus does too.)

I'm off to add some of these pictures to myspace and thefacebook!

So I love how I've been home now without any school for three days and my house is messier than before.  I have cleaned EVERY DAY and it just gets worse.  Now mind you, I have somewhat of an excuse- we brought in all of our Christmas decor boxes, but still-  I mean, really.  It's getting ridiculous.  And I kept trying to decorate today and Minnie just undecorated everything for me.  I put some garland-y stuff around the display case at the front door, and I looked out the window 20 minutes later to see it as well as several bright red plastic poinsettias laying in a pile in the back yard.  Oh well.

Our tree is up, but undecorated.  I don't know if I will get to it before G-baby and I leave with Poppo and Momooshka for the West side.  Maybe I can manage the lights- but that will be it.  We can wait to do the rest.  Or I'll leave the lights for Randy; I just know he isn't as anal about evenness and such as I am.....

On a sad note- Andy's grandpa died.  He flew up here on Tuesday from Boise to see him in the hospital.  He was doing much better- he was talking and everything and crashed all of a sudden.  They performed CPR for almost 15 minutes, but his heart refused to start up again.  ;(

Alright- I think I heard the dryer exclaim that it was done with my jeans.  I'm going to go finish packing!  (I think I might actually fit all of G baby and my's clothes in one TINY bag!)

Yay for great Thanksgivings!

I am still digesting my delicious dinner and desert- while watching Hannah Montana.  G-baby is sleeping and Randy is heading off to bed as well.  I am on my way as well- I just wanted to wish everyone  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!